just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
