dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
