either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
