did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
