Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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