You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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