i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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