Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
