Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
