I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize