Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just tell him i said nine months
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
