Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
