Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
