isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
