when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
