So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
