the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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