we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So vagazzling was a success
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
