Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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