i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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