I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
