My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
