i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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