Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
