With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They took my balls.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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