So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
