I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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