I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
