you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
