Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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