Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
