we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
