He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
