You just made me feel so damn special
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
