She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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