in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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