Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
