I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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