AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i've created a new STD.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
