Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
