I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
