Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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