He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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