I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
