I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
