I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize