I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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