Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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