i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
