Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
