you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
