Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
