Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
