i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
