who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
