I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i will never coherently bang her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
