Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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