its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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